Five beauty products you definitely do not need
As women, we spend a crapload of money on beauty products just so we can look in the mirror each day.
And who can blame us? An entire billion-dollar industry is geared toward having us believe that we're only attractive, presentable and socially acceptable when sprayed out and made up. When we hear of another miracle alphabet cream or advanced patented technology-pumped salon serum, we're usually curious enough to try it. (Our vanity, it knows no bounds!)
Yet that's not to say we can't call out misleading marketing drivel when we hear it. Arguably, there are thousands of beauty products on the market that we definitely do not need – primer, toner, eye cream – but we'll start with these five.
Anti-ageing hand cream
Our hands have reached the winter of their existence. Weathered by the elements and subject to constant cleansing away of bus-pole cooties, we look down one day to find we don't even recognise the fingers staring back at us. The concept of preservation fuels many facets of the beauty industry – but time-reversing hand cream is a relatively new one (wait until Olay and SKII inevitably catch on!).
When your paws are cursed with the seven signs and pesky hangnails start to catch on your jumpers, thank goodness for this cream, designed to restore youth back into your mitts! Of course, you could always just use olive oil and achieve the same effect, minus the clammy feel.
Contouring kits
We give up on contouring. We're so accustomed to drawing stripes on our cheeks like it's war paint that we've forgotten how shadows and light actually work when they hit our face. What's more, beauty editors are trying to convince us that buying overpriced contouring kits – highlighter, bronzer and blush – is a good idea despite the fact that we already own the products separately in shades more appropriate for our skin tone.
Leg makeup
Yes, really, it exists. As Sally Hansen used to brand it, "It's like pantyhose in a can!" And given the dropping sales of 10-denier stockings, there seems to be a demand for this kind of thing. While before, we'd treat our stems to a 99-cent disposable razor and an occasional slap on of body butter AT BEST, it's now normal for women to airbrush their legs to 'hide imperfections' in want of a pageant-worthy, Barbie-inspired sheen. Who are these people and where did they get the time? What's next? A blusher for your areola?
Anything with 'cellulite' in the title
Cellulite is coming for you like The Fog. There's only one way your nubile body can go, and that way is down. The butt cleavage trend isn't going away anytime soon, so you best drop a load of coin on one of the many anti-cellulite products currently on the market. Also, just in case you didn't get the memo, you need to start guarding yourself against 'pre-cellulite' when you're post-20.
The truth? Anyone with flawless thighs is the exception to the rule. 90 per cent of women get cellulite and whether or not you do has to do with factors such as diet, exercise and genetics – not some overpriced cream by Clarins.
Anti-ageing haircare
Spoiler: The very notion of 'anti-ageing' (or 'age-defying' or 'youth-renewing') is a lie. As much as you try to ignore it, you are ageing since the moment you are born. That hasn't stopped the haircare industry from trying to make a big buck from playing on our insecurities.
With ingredients such as keratin and biotin, they promise to bring your broken, chemical-ridden, coloured, flat-ironed hair back to life. Apply twice weekly and marvel as your ponytail gets carded the next time it tries to order a drink at the bar.
Personally, I can't wait for my hair to go naturally and gracefully gray like Mary Kostakidis'. Well, here's hoping anyway.
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